Men Changing Their Last Names to Their Wives'
People often assume name change after marriage is solely the bride's decision—will she take her husband's name or keep hers? But why not let the groom take his wife's name?
Well, attitudes and practices are changing.
In an unprecedented manner, men are embracing the practice of taking their wives' last names after marriage, exceeding any prior point in history.
Today, we shall break through the taboo and delve into the idea of a man taking his wife's name. We shall explore the reasons behind why he would make such a choice.
Breaking the mold
Misconceptions often plague men who adopt their wives' last names, suggesting they have a problem or fault. Yet today's men have valid reasons for making this choice.
Starting with a real world example…
Zoe Saldana, star of the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, pointed out that, against her concerns, her husband, Marco Perego, adopted her last name "Saldana" upon marriage.
Obviously, a man taking his wife's last name is not typical and draws attention from traditionalists who consider it a violation against established social norms.
Society's opinions on men changing their names
When 1,000 American adults were polled about men taking their wives' last names after marriage, the results yielded diverse opinions, as shown in the following table:
| Opinion | Percent |
|---|---|
| Odd | 40% |
| Acceptable | 30% |
| Inappropriate | 17% |
| Great | 7% |
| Unsure | 6% |
While the poll results showed low resistance to men changing their names, the lukewarm responses suggest a moderate public stance.
Younger poll respondents displayed greater acceptance. For instance, 16% of adults age 18 to 29 found it great, while no one 65 and older shared the sentiment.
So the trend line is positive.
Name change is easy… for the eligible
Convenience is a major perk of name change through marriage. The marriage certificate alone authorizes name change for most people. But most is not everyone.
While the marriage certificate offers a streamlined name change process for women, some state laws restrict men from taking this simple route.
The limited adoption of men taking their wives' names after marriage may be attributed to legal hurdles and the arduous process of filing a court petition.
Yeah, I am not going to court!
Men often assume that changing their last name through marriage requires a court order, but that is not always the case. (Explained in a moment.)
Even those willing to go to court may find the expense and lengthy ordeal too onerous, especially since some states charge hundreds of dollars to file a petition.
Many people—men and women—will not even consider changing their names unless they can do it through marriage, on the cheap, using their marriage certificate.
And who could blame them?
Such inequity should not persist, yet it often does.
Are you allowed to take your wife's last name?
Uncertainty looms large: how do men know if their state even allows them to change their last names through marriage? Why this immovable gender imbalance?
Googling "can a man change his name after marriage in [state]" often returns results that are ambiguous or specific to adult name changes by court petition.
A man's nightmare scenario is to commit to a name change, file his paperwork, only to face rejection from the Social Security Administration and DMV.
Throw in a passport renewal, revision, or first-time application failure could wreck or delay honeymoon or travel plans.
So much hard work, wasted.
Does he welch and tell his spouse, "Well, I tried," or is he now obliged to file a court petition he sought to avoid, along with publishing his name change in the newspaper?
Newspaper publication is a potential unexpected privacy violation. Marriage name change is discreet, while a court-petitioned name change is a public event.
States that allow marriage name change for men
The following 18 states (covering 36.6% of the U.S. population) allow a man to change his last name to his wife's last name using their marriage certificate, without requiring a court order:
- California
- Colorado
- Georgia
- Hawaii
- Iowa
- Kansas
- Louisiana
- Maine
- Maryland
- Massachusetts
- Minnesota
- Nevada
- New Hampshire
- New York
- North Dakota
- Oklahoma
- Oregon
- South Dakota
The remaining 32 states and D.C. require men to get a separate court order to change their name. The marriage certificate becomes irrelevant in these cases.
Whether using a marriage certificate or court order, our online name change kit works for men and women who plan to undergo the name change process.
Support and commitment
One typical reason a man opts to take his wife's last name after marriage is to express support and commitment to the relationship.
It is also a symbolic gesture of solidarity and partnership, illustrating that their union is defined by mutual love and respect, not societal expectations.
This principle is predominant when the wife assumes the role of the primary provider in the household or holds greater influence within the family structure.
Egalitarian husbands
Various husbands adhere to the principle of equality: believing every person deserves equal rights and opportunities, such as a man taking his wife's last name after marriage.
Driven by a fierce desire to challenge widespread cultural norms, egalitarian men often feel inspired to adopt their spouse's last name as righteous pushback.
Not shying away, they readily let the world know.
They aim to change societal tenets to align with their own beliefs by engaging in frank discussions with family and friends over their rationale.
Their advocacy plays a pivotal role in shaping opinions and empowering other men to adopt their wives' names without fearing ridicule.
Wife's last name sounds better
Certain husbands find their own last names unappealing in sight and sound. They have hidden motives for adopting their wives' names to rectify this lifelong flaw.
However, in certain cases, neither the husband's last name nor wife's last name offers great appeal; husband's surname might be Hebrudery and the wife's Bruckenriguah.
Even combining both names into Hebrudery-Bruckenriguah might be deemed a substantial downgrade, as neither name offers much improvement.
Nevertheless, if the wife's last name sounds more pleasing and likeable, male spouses are considering adopting it while dropping their own. (If only out of self-interest.)
Choosing hyphenation as a middle ground
When a man contemplates taking his wife's name after marriage, he can preserve his own name by hyphenating names with his wife. She might even hyphenate as well.
Name change need not be a one-sided affair, where one person loses their identity while the other keeps everything. Hyphenation offers a balanced approach.
Family acceptance
The struggle for acceptance by in-laws is a common challenge faced by many couples entering marriage, often contributing to marital troubles.
Men who experience acceptance by their wives' families, being treated as essential and recognized, may assume a strong obligation to reciprocate such kindness.
These men might hail from family backgrounds without distinct histories, or from troubled and turbulent families that they wish to leave behind and forget.
Adopting their wives' last names presents appealing opportunities to achieve a sense of renewal or separation while carving a fresh path.
When wife's name means more
Besides hailing from a remarkable family with an engaging ancestral history, there are men who choose to adopt their wife's last name if it holds significant meaning for her.
Especially if her name and professional identity are entwined, and more so for women-owned businesses whose last name is part of the company name and brand.
Men who find their own names bland, but discover their wives' last name as a topic of endless fascination, may welcome the idea of adopting hers.
This is especially true when it is not practical or expected for a wife to change her name because of business or personal reasons.
No one wants to lose an iconic name, especially those who achieved fame and widespread recognition, with a strong online presence through search or social media.
Such visibility enhances their personal image and business success. Such name exposure is difficult to rebuild after a name change.
Sometimes the loss of public awareness is irreparable.
This is not limited to artists and influencers, but to anyone across various professions who has established their reputation and name, be it a writer, public speaker, or entrepreneur.
This is true of any name change: person, product, or company.
Still, some men will adopt their wives' well-known last names, even if it means leaving behind their own obscure, strange, and less favorable surnames.
Great branding… for men
Brand identity is important. The more distinct the name, the easier it will be to brand. Consider the benefits of rarity when choosing a new name after marriage.
Should a man cling to his family name if he feels no connection to it, especially when a better option exists in his wife's name?
This holds especially true for men with common and unremarkable names that lack distinction, making them widespread across many families.
Amidst the abundant sea of Smiths, Browns, and Millers adorning the planet, would a single decrement tip the scales of world equilibrium? Of course not.
Thus, a man might take his wife's last name to better brand himself, such as a pastry chef taking his wife's last name "Baker" to rebrand his business "Baker's Dozen and Co."
Men, are you ready for change?
In the end, men adopting their wives' last names (and vice versa) is purely a matter of personal choice. There is no definitive right or wrong.
If name change feels right to you, claim it with gusto. After all, who needs a good reason to defy convention when you can embrace what resonates with your phenomenal self?
What do you think? Should men take their wives' last names?
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